Here’s a raw cookie dough shot from today but the photo of the baked cookie is from Thanksgiving when I gobbled up one two three some for the first time at the Joshua Grindle Inn, Mendocino, CA. Among the many luxury items and attention to detail hospitality that makes the Joshua Grindle Inn the best place to stay in Mendocino County are the fresh-baked afternoon goodies the innkeepers (and our friends) Charles and Cindy, put out in the parlor every afternoon. I should mention that as it turns out the parlor is in the room immediately next to the suite where Dana and I usually stay which means the glass connister of fresh-baked yum-yums is less than 3.2 feet from the door to our room. You know what they say…..location is everything!

Gluten-Free Peanut Butter Cookies

2 cups peanut butter (no sugar added)
1 cup white sugar
1 cup Splenda
2 eggs

Directions: Preheat oven to 350 with the rack in the center. Toss all the ingredients into a bowl and mix by hand just until combined. Use a cookie scoop or a couple tablespoons to put cookies on a parchment-lined baking sheet. Bake for about 15 minutes. Eat. Share. Thank me. Thank Cindy.

As it turned out I was about 1/2 cup short of peanut butter today so I replaced it with 1/2 cup almond butter, and mini chocolate chips wouldn’t be such a bad idea either (are they ever?)  as shown in the last photo.

Now, back to where in the world is Waldo what in the world did Anita eat today . . . I’ve been a tad under the weather today and my interest in food wasn’t a top priority; an event that occurs less frequently than a full ellipse of the sun. Anyway, that’s why my food box for today looks tragically pathetic, but do enjoy anyway.

So here we go. My food for the day. Click on the photo (I dare you) and you’ll be whisked over to Flickr where you’ll be able to not only view a larger version but you’ll be able to download the photo for use as a screen saver, tee-shirt transfer, wall-size mural for your family room, or a body tattoo. I’ve also provided a written record of the day’s food there as well in case anything looks a little suspicious. Nothing fancy today but you never know when a tureen of  foie gras braised in a passion fruit horseradish glaze might be turning up.

Over the years in losing 150 pounds I’ve learned that keeping a food journal is one of the most important tools, not only in losing but in maintaining weight loss. Most of the people who I know personally who’ve lost a significant amount of weight and have kept it off have made it a regular habit to journal their daily food. I’ve found there’s a bit of magic in keeping a food diary because without fail, when I journal my food, I eat less and I eat better, and when I don’t journal my food,  surprise surprise, it only takes a short little while before the numbers on the bathroom scale start getting a little plumper along with my behind.

Writing down my food everyday keeps me both aware of what I’m eating and honest about what I’m really eating rather than just what I want to remember. I tend to be a grazer with the food. I don’t feast. I nibble and grab. One bite here and just a taste there all through the day, and soon I’ve snacked and noshed so many little bits and bobs during the day that I’ve forgotten all I actually did ate.  The action of logging my food remedies my amnesia by keeping me fully aware (and conscious) as to how much I’ve consumed and that awareness in turn keeps me honest. I can’t play ignorant with myself as to why I’m not losing weight when the sum total of everything I’ve eaten is right there in front of me.

But here’s the catch. Even though I know how important it is for me to do, after a few days of food journaling I get bored and complacent and eventually stop and I’ve tried everything to keep myself motivated and interested. I’ve bought every kind of hard cover journal and soft cover notebook. I’ve used the online food journals at CalorieKing, Weight Watchers, and Spark People. I’ve tried computer software and iPhone apps. I even went through a long period of time when I called someone every morning to tell them exactly what I was going to be eating that day. The thing is that everything I tried was great….until I stopped. I know. Go figure.

Now with a new year (plus ten days) comes a new idea. Take two things I love like photography and blogging and combine them with keeping a food journal and see what happens. So let’s see what happens and if, by chance, you want to play along by keeping a food journal of your own while I’m keeping mine, by all means, join me!

Oh. And exercise wise it was 30 minutes this morning on some cardio torture device at the gym followed by 50 minutes with my personal trainer which among other sweat initiators included push-ups, crunches, and lunges. Should you wonder, I am NOT Julie Andrews and those are NOT three of my favorite things.

There’s a method to my madness people.

So here we go.

This was my breakfast yesterday morning. Scrambled egg whites and beans. Not exactly as glamorous as cake balls dipped in white chocolate and brushed with gold luster dust, but there you have it. Real food for real life and it’s time we get a little real around here because the brutal harsh reality is this girl (pointing to self) can’t live on cookies, cake pops and cupcakes, not if I ever stand a chance of staying in my size 12 jeans because right now these bad boys are a wee bit snug. They aren’t lay horizontal while holding my breath snug but they are definitely coming close to the button, zip and do a series of denim stretching calisthenics snug. Changes are coming. In fact, they’ve already started and I’m bringing you along on the ride.

I’m going to be kicking off my 2011 Kick My Butt in Gear Tour right here, beginning tonight. Here’s how it’s going to roll. I’m going to be photographing every SINGLE bite of food I put into my mouth. I mean everything including the nibble, bite, handful, and taste that somehow, mysteriously, when I’m not looking, enter my mouth. Now like a criminal in custody every meal and random bite of food will be photographed and then after a day of snapping (photos) and smacking (my lips)  I’ll be posting the photos. Rather than uploading 3 or 4 OR 27 food photos everyday I’ll probably put together one or two photo collages showing all the food for the day. There will be no beverage photos though since my beverages everyday are pretty much the same; four shots of espresso on ice with an ample splash (1/4 cup) of whole milk, and 60-80 ounces of water or no-calorie fruit-flavored water. Dana brings me a cup of coffee every morning as well but I only take a couple sips. I want to be a grownup and since everyone knows that grownups drink coffee in the morning, there you go. Does it diminish the fact if there’s an adorable little ceramic turtle in the bottom of the mug?

I know I know. Forget all those foodie blogs you’ve been following with their luscious, scrumptious, gorgeous photographs of crusty round artisan breads, cupcakes hidden under towering mounds of rich buttercream, and  platters of steaming pasta glistening with brown butter, and topped with  imported parmigiano reggiano and pan-fried strips of pancetta. Forget all that because right here, right now, at no personal expense to you, you’re going to have the chance to savor the beauty that is an egg white scrambled in an old scratched Teflon pan and covered in black beans left over from last Friday’s Mexican Salad. Other bloggers hold contests and give away prizes to keep their readership numbers growing but not here. It’s all about quality content that keeps ‘em coming back for more.

In addition to the spine-tingling photo journaling of my food, as if that wouldn’t be enough given that I’m providing this all free of charge,  I’ll  also be documenting my physical activity for the day. Did I just hear you gasp?! I’m telling you people, it doesn’t get better than this when it comes to blogging so call your friends and neighbors or risk their anger when they learn you knew about all this and never told them. On that day, I would not want to be you.

So that’s my plan Stan and I’m sticking to it. At least for a week that is. Oh. I did mention, didn’t I,  that my New Year’s Plus 10 Days resolutions are only valid for one week at a time with an option to renew at completion? I mean seriously, do you think I’d actually commit to photograph and blog everything I eat for an entire year? Are you out of your mind?
Makes me wonder just who I’m hanging out with and how you got here in the first place.

Anita

.

P.S.  I’m just playing with you. You know I love ya.

Okay, now skip this paragraph if you’ve been following my blog and already know my story. For those who haven’t I’ve been on one ride of a weight loss journey over the past ten years that you can read about on The Journey to Finding Me. The Cliff Notes version of that story goes something like this:

• 1999: 325 pounds, miserable, sad, hopeless, desperate. Gave my will and my life over the will of a loving gracious God, worked a program of recovery, and lost 125 pounds. Gratitude, joy, and more gratitude.
• 2008: Felt the time had come to lose the last of the excess weight I was carrying, participated in a medically-supervised fast, continued to bust my behind at the gym, and lost another 70 pounds. Thrilled, amazed, and more gratitude still.
• 2009: Had corrective surgery to remove the excess skin. Ouch. Slowly had weight plateau about 20 pounds above post-surgery low. Full physical revealed in excellent physical condition or to quote my doctor, “If I didn’t know better I’d assume you were a conditioned athlete.” More gratitude.

And then came the Fall and Winter of 2010 filled with cake pops, cupcakes, and cookies. There were tables of goodies prepared for hospitality hour following church on Sundays.  There were high fat dinners and sugar-saturated desserts loving made and shared with my brother (ALS requires that he eat to keep as much weight on as he can); foods filled with childhood memories and staggering levels of calories from cans of cream soup and cubes of butter. All of which brings us to the orange clad still sweaty faced from a workout Anita in the photo montage at six o’clock.

And here we are. Up thirty pounds from my lowest weight and a solid ten to fifteen pounds from where I’d ideally like to be, and once again sporting a muffin top. You know the muffin top; that squishy belt of chub that resides just above the waistline. This little muffin-top, which in my case would more fittingly  be called a cookie-top since cookies are largely responsible for it’s reappearance, stands (or jiggles as the case may be) as witness to the virtuousness of my self-discipline over the past two months of blitzkrieg baking.

Honestly, I don’t know how they do it, and by they I mean those incredibly creative cookie bakers whose blogs I’ve been stalking following for the past few months. Unless their profile photos are actually a “cut and paste” JPG of a model from “Women’s Health Magazine” then clearly these women have established a reasonable level of sampling and taste-testing that’s not pushing past the perimeter of their pants.

And then again, maybe they aren’t all compulsive overeaters with no moderate set point as to how much is enough and how much is too much. I came broken from the factory. My dial is set to one more. One more bite. One more taste. One more plate, one more serving, one more dozen. These are just the facts of me and my relationship with food. I don’t make the news people, I just report it.

I can’t draw or paint or sculpt but decorating cookies is like creative expression for me. I love mixing the dough and decorating the cookies. Giving something from my kitchen is a natural and easy way for me to show care and love to my family and friends. Every time I put on one of my Etsy-acquired vintage aprons it ties me back to times I spent with my grandma making batch after batch of snickerdoodles and chocolate chip cookies. And with risking sounding like I’m taking it over the top, there’s something about spending time baking that restful and calming to me. Dare I say meditative? And here’s the really amazing thing; it seems I’m a more than respectable baker. I can turn out some awesome groceries with a few ingredients and an oven set to 350. Something I bake can make someone smile. How cool is that? For all these reasons I don’t want to give up baking but neither do I want to find myself in a dicey place when it comes to being around all that yummy goodness.

So what’s a girl to do? Well, I have a couple big cookie commits coming up soon but for the time being my focus is going to be

Less Baking and More Biking

Less time searching Saveur and time exploring Eating Well

And definitely, Less Pie and More Protein.

And only time and my cookie top will tell . . .

And did I mention 104 days until gelato?

That means I have 104 days to trim the little bit of soft and squishy around my waist that arrived in winter and made itself at home on my fleshy frame through spring. My goal in losing weight before Italy isn’t so I can eat until I pop, though I’m not saying that’s not possible given the newspaper headlines I read a few years ago that announced “Woman Eats 20 Pizzas and Explodes!!!” If the National Inquirer is to be believed it could happen.

But popping open like an overstuffed ravioli isn’t what I’m trying to avoid. Instead I want to get trimmed and toned so  a) I’m in the best physical condition to enjoy walking through Rome, biking around Tuscany, and hiking the mountains edging along the Amalfi Coast; and b) the travel clothes I’ve already bought will be loose comfortable instead of snug sorta-comfortable when I disembark at Rome’s Fiumicino Airport.

And really, despite my enthusiasm for getting to know the flavors of Italy on an intimate first-name basis, my expectation is to come home without gaining more than a couple pounds, if that. Wishful thinking, you say? A naive dreamer, you call me? Not so! I counter. Well, that is if historical evidence counts for anything since two summers ago I managed to eat my way through Greece and come home the same weight as when I left despite consuming vats of whole milk yogurt drowning in  honey and walnuts, sweet coffee drinks, slabs of grilled cheese, bowls of tzatziki swimming in olive oil, souvlaki sandwiches (skewers of lamb wrapped in warm pita and stuffed with a fistful of greasy french fries)…and then on my second day in Greece….

But for the next two months gelato and pasta will be reserved for my dreams while lighter fare will be on my plate, primarily focusing on non-processed whole foods high in vegetables, fruits and lean protein. That’s typically how we eat in our home anyway but the difference is getting myself back into the habit of eating moderate portions as opposed to my mile high heap on a plate default and writing down what I eat each day in a food journal, and I can’t say this enough but keeping a food journal is a tried and true key to successful weight loss and long-term maintenance! These days I’m using NetDiary for the iPad to record my food and exercise and I’m loving it. (Click on the image to the left to see a larger image of my exciting menu for the day). Speaking of which, after a season of cold weather hibernation I’m not only cleaning up my food plan but ramping back up to my usual exercise routine; core strength training three times a week, high intensity workouts (spinning, stair-stepping) three times a week, and plenty of walking, hiking, and biking for the pure enjoyment of being alive!

While I can’t say this tee shirt was tight at my biggest weight, I can’t say it was loose either. You be the judge. Anyway, the jeans were size 28 (I wore 30-32 comfortably), and the gray moo-moo tee shirt was a 3XL. Okay, that’s all the show and tell for today so keep scrolling down past my knobby knees.

It’s good for me to remember the old days and the old clothes because I absolutely believe that what the poet George Santayana said is true: “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” And so on a regular basis I remember the misery of my past which allows me not only to be all the more grateful for today but to do what I can to treasure and keep it.

So let me catch you up on what’s been going on since I haven’t been posting much. You’ll notice there’s not been any posts recently from my kitchen exploits because the deluge of Christmas baking basically wore me out and was also adding a few too many calories to my life. As a result there’s been very little culinary glamor to be found around here with our meals revolving around grilled chicken and fish, fresh veggies and fruit, and the more than occasional liquid protein supplement. With outdoor grill season just around the corner though you can be sure you’ll be treated to photos of yet more nearly-burned to a crisp fennel, fowl, and fin. We like to say around here that we don’t like burnt food but blackened food which makes it sound more like a style of grilling than an accident from multi-tasking one too many tasks while the food is on the grill.

And as to exercise to put it simply, I’ve been a maniac! After months of little to zip physical activity due to surgeries and recovery time, I’m focused on getting my muscle mass and girlie guns back to where they were before I turned into a non-green version of Gumby. Recently my fitness schedule has included strength training three times a week with a personal trainer and a whole lot of spinning! I’ve been averaging 4-5  spin classes a week and have found it’s the most effective and efficient way for me to burn the most calories in the least amount of time; anywhere from 500-700 for a 45 minutes class according to my heart rate monitor. Speaking of which, if you tap on the image below a larger version will open up showing the data from my Garmin Fitness watch and heart monitor for the past month, showing that since March 1 I’ve exercised a total of just over 21 hours for a total calorie burn of more than 12,000 calories. Those 21 hours include: strength training, spin class, road cycling, and the dreaded StairMonster. I take the elevator up to the gym so I can get on a step machine and climb nowhere. Don’t even try to make sense of that.

I’d love to tell you all this physical exercise and moderate eating has me at my goal weight but if I told you that I’d be lying through my little crowned teeth. My weight continued to sloooowly climb through January and February to 168 pounds despite my best efforts and an excessive amount of frustration and head-banging. And then….finally….my weight plateaued and since then it’s been letting go an ounce or two at a time and this morning the flashing digits on the bathroom scales read 166.6. I know. 666. The Omen. Scary. But actually this time it’s a good sign in that my body is finally getting back in shape and letting go of the weight. My weight gain over the past few months really has been the great mystery to everyone from my doctors to my trainer to me and the theories have abounded. My personal trainer thinks it was due to the loss of muscle mass from months of inactivity. Doctors suggested everything from a hormone imbalance to the physical trauma my body experienced from the surgeries to it simply being a matter of my age working against me. The last one was suggested by someone so young he looked like Beaver Cleaver with a stethoscope. But then again at my age, all the doctors are starting to look like Doogie Howser M.D.

Even our cats had a theory as to my weight gain that involved me sneaking their bags of kitty treats on the sly. As tempting as Kibbles Tuna and Liver Medley sounds…

So I think this has you all caught up on more than you cared to know about me but don’t think for a minute that’s going to stop me from telling you more! I’ll follow up in the next few days with a final update on where I am in terms of recovery from the reconstructive surgeries (Oh could it be she’ll include photos of her scars? Only time will tell!) and then I intend to start posting on general stuff related to health, weight loss, and nutrition that I’ve collected from my own experiences along the way.

Later Gators!

After two recent CAT scans, a hernia was finally ruled out in favor of a weakened patch of stomach muscles just above my right hip bone. This may or may not be related to increased strain on that area due to having my stomach muscles tightened in another area but that’s all neither here or there. The end result is that I am now the proud owner of a plum size bulge four inches to the left of my belly button and just as many down that while visually not the look I was going for, at least doesn’t require any surgery or restrictions on my activity level.

So after all this time I’m back to three 50 minutes sessions a week at the gym with my own little version of Jillian (just as gorgeous and nearly as cruel) which feels both achingly sore and wonderful at the same time. During personal training we primarily focus on (re) strengthening my core through work with weights, pilates, and balance work on the Bosu. There’s circuit work on the gym equipment and a whole lot of plain calisthenics including planks, lunges, and groan, squats.

With my personal training back up and rolling I’m now trying to put together a regular cardio routine at home and in the gym to get my heart pumping and up the sweat factor for a solid calorie burn. My goal is to get back to doing an hour or more of cardio 4-5 times a week. Once spring arrives I’ll return to cycling, walking, and hiking but until then I’m getting involved in some of the classes offered at the gym and to that end I’ve been trying out a few. The first up was the currently popular Zumba which proved to be a total exercise in humiliation for the simple reason it requires something I don’t possess, that being rhythm. After 20 minutes of stumbling over my feet I screamed “Uncle!” and ran from the room. I’ve also tried a few classes of Camp 24 that combines step, weights and cardio and for the most part I enjoyed it with the exception of the jumping jacks which I can’t do if there’s so much as a teaspoon of fluid in my bladder but then again neither can I walk and sneeze at the same time. You probably didn’t want to know that, did you?

Aaaaaanyway, over the past few years I’ve noticed how there’s a whole lot of people waiting in line at the counter to sign up and reserve their spot for the next spin class. As a kid who grew up in a house with a stationary bike that was always covered in my dad’s pants, teeshirts, and other assorted laundry, I’ve never been too intrigued by the whole idea of hunkering down onto a bike seat, spinning like crazy, and going nowhere. Whether it was the flashbacks to my childhood or the whole human hamster wheel thing, who can say. I only know I’ve never been all that interested in giving it a try. That was until I noticed the sweat factor. I couldn’t help but notice that at the end of their spinning session all the little human hamsters were dripping in sweat and nothing says calorie burn like a whole lot of sweat. Well, as it turns out I LOVE spin class. To be completely accurate I didn’t love it the second and third time when my derrière felt like it had been polished with coarse grain sandpaper but now that my backside has warmed up to the idea I’m loving it.

And loving it is important. Sure. There are times you just go to the gym or head out on a walk or run because it’s the thing you know you need to do rather than the thing you want to do, but the chances of being able to keep motivated to do it day in and day out is made easier a world easier if it’s something you enjoy and that provides you with a sense of satisfaction. Here are a couple things I’ve cranked up the fun-0-meter around physical activity.

• I love taking digital photos and so when I’m hiking I’ve always got my camera with me.
• The only time I allow myself to listen to my favorite podcasts (Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me, and Splendid Table) are when I’m out walking.
• I bought a couple favorite workout tops and pants that are reserved just for the gym.
• I’ve measured the mileage for a variety of routes that all begin and end at our front door so that I never walk or ride my bike on the same route two days in a row, and most of the loops have a Starbucks at mid-point so I have a rest break to look forward to just down the road.
• I set attainable goals for myself (walking to a particular destination a little farther than the day before, walking at a steeper incline on the treadmill than I did the last time, estimating a specific time it will take me to go a particular distance that requires I push myself a little to achieve it) because every time I meet my goal I gain a sense of satisfaction that makes me feel good.
• When I spend time on my Wii FitPlus I intentionally think of it as play instead of exercise and focus on the enjoyment factor rather than about getting my exercise in that day.
• I keep a few inexpensive workout DVD’s (The Biggest Loser has some awesome ones!) and a couple pieces of equipment (exercise bands, a step, and a fitness ball) on hand at home so I have a variety of choices of ways to be physical whether for an hour or for a 15-minute fitness break.

And that leads me to always remembering that doing something is better than doing nothing. Five minutes of walking is better than zero minutes. Walk to the end of your block and back. Every time you need to get something upstairs at home go up and down the stairs two times first. Park as far from the entrance to the store entrance as you can. Walk in place every time a TV commercial comes on. Pace back and forth whenever you talk on the phone. Set a goal of going on a walking exploration of every city park in your local area.

Begin just by being mindful of the 3 S’s.
Sit. Stand. Step.
Standing burns more calories than sitting. Stepping burns more calories than standing.

Studies have shown that one of the differences between obese people and thin people is that thin people are more physically active. That doesn’t necessarily mean they exercise more, it simply means they move more during the course of an average day. They stand more and step more and that overall increased activity level ends up burning more calories than a sedentary day spent sitting all day long.

That is of course unless you’re sitting on a stationary bike.

D and I headed out early this morning for a challenging (as in ascend ascend ascend!) and gorgeous hike through the redwoods in Muir Woods at the base of Mt. Tamalpais. For those who know the area from the main trail we climbed up Bootjack Trail past Panoramic Hwy and then turned back around for a half mile before turning onto TCC. At the junction we took the Ben Johnson Trail and then finished our 6.5 mile loop on Hillside Trail. The weather was ideal and we were clear of other hikers for the majority of the hike until returning to Muir Woods where the tourists were thick as ticks and nearly as annoying. My Bodybugg showed a calorie burn in 3.5 hours of 1264 calories which matched up almost on the button to the estimated calorie expenditure for hiking that length of time on my Lose It! iPhone app.

Knowing the calories we burn on a hike is interesting information to us but it’s not our motive for getting out there and hoofing it. We love to hike because it’s peaceful, takes us places we wouldn’t normally see, and because we can! There was a time when hiking would have been impossible for both us because of our weight and all the aches and pains and limited endurance that came along with it but now every time we find ourselves straining to get to the top of some ridiculously steep ascent one of us will invariably say, “Can you believe we’re doing this?!” And no, neither of us can and that delights us to no end and we continue to be amazed by how much we can do having dropped the extra baggage. What a gift good health is and how often we take it for granted.

Today’s hike was my last one until late fall after both surgeries have come and gone and my body has had a chance to recover. My strength training will be on hold for much of that time too; less to protect the stitches than to not over-exert my stomach muscles that will be tightened as part of the first surgery. In my pre-surgical consultation this last Thursday with the surgeon he outlined that during the first two weeks I’ll be limited to walking, first around the house and then outdoors (the Starbucks a mile down the road is my first goal!) By week three I should be able to get on my bike and by week four spend time at the gym for light training. After that I can resume my activities as long as I’m cautious about not over-stretching until week six or seven when I have the second surgery and recovery starts all over again. Of course, this is all theoretical at this point and I’ll just have to take each day as it comes and as they say, more shall be revealed.

]]> http://www.anitasblog.com/pre-knife-hike/feed/ 3 http://www.anitasblog.com/why-bother/ http://www.anitasblog.com/why-bother/#comments Mon, 20 Jul 2009 06:11:31 +0000 Anita http://www.anitasblog.com/?p=300 If you want to know why I've been willing to work so hard to lose the excess weight I carried for so many years and get physically in shape, this photo tells it all. I'm not only doing things I could never have imagined doing and seeing things I... Don't stop now...keep reading!