March 26, 2010
Since participating in a liquid fast last year through a nearby medical clinic I’ve continued to go to the clinic weekly for a maintenance support group comprised of a half dozen or more women who, like myself, lost their excess weight on the fast and are now learning how to live with food while maintaining a healthy body weight. During the hour long meeting we go around the room and do what people usually do at support meetings. We share. We talk about the mocha chocolate cheesecake we stalked, the calorie differential between a 45 minute spin class and a ham and provolone panini, and waking up from a dream of drowning in a swimming pool full of chocolate mousse.
So. Yesterday when the circle sharing came to me I was asked how the scars from my reconstructive surgeries were doing and as I began to describe how they were all at different stages of fading a new member of the group excitedly interrupted and proceeded to tell the group she’d had breast reduction surgery and that the scars were practically unnoticeable at which point this 65-something woman flung the front of her shirt up and over her shoulder to expose her bare-naked girlie bumps to the entire group for inspection. I dare say somehow I have managed to get to the age of 53 without ever being flashed someone’s grandma. Apparently the leader of our group had failed to inform our newest member that we limited ourselves to sharing and not show-n-tell.
Weird and all the more troubling because it was the highlight of my day.
Anyway, that leads to posting what will probably be a final review and update on the reconstructive surgery I had last summer and don’t let the opening story fool you….there will be NO photographs of any part of my flesh including my girl bumps. All you get is this image (which you can click on for a larger version), where I’ve gone ahead and added in the incision lines from the tummy tuck, mid-back lift, arm and thigh reduction, and breast lift.
The tummy tuck/mid-back lift took place in August 2009 and at this point those are the scars that have faded the most and I suspect both these scars will barely be visible in another year. The only lingering effect from these procedures is a continuing sensation of numbness just below my belly button where the stomach muscles were tightened but the intensity of the numbness flunctuates from day to day and most days it’s hardly noticeable. The only other lasting side-effects from the surgery is that any crunch work at the gym can cause some uncomfortable pressure across my mid-section and eating or drinking just a little too much at one seating causes an exaggerated feeling of fullness. All these lasting issues (numbness, bloating, pressure) are connected to having my stomach muscles surgically tightened which is a part of the tummy tuck procedure but not necessarily required.
The second surgery involved the breast lift and the upper arm and thigh reductions and took place in September 2009. The breast lift was the easiest of all the procedures, both immediately after surgery and in the recovery time since then. There’s been little pain or tenderness around the incision sites although I’m still holding off for another couple months on my regularly scheduled mammogram. I’ll make the appointment when I can even think about having my new and improved all-eyes-ahead breasts squeezed between two plates of glass without wincing.
The thigh reduction incisions that run right along the bottom of my bum are also fading nicely but there are a few points along the incision line where the scar tissue has developed some hardness around it. This hardened tissue will eventually break up and soften but for the time-being it feels like I have a pocketful of pebbles when I lay my side on a semi-hard surface like the matted gym floor.
The scars that are taking the longest to heal are the most visible scars, those being the ones running down my inner arms just past my elbow and on my inner thighs running down just to above my knees. The thigh scars remain a darker pink/purple color and partially show when I wear shorts or shorter capri pants. Fortunately the incision lines have remained relatively thin and flat and I’ve been assured that given more time these too will heal to be very close to my natural skin color; and by that I mean to say Pillsbury Dough Boy White. The most concerning of all the scar tissue to me is on my arms. The problem isn’t the coloring of the scars since they’re progressively fading too but the thickness and texture of the scars. In some areas the incision lines stretched to nearly double their original width and have developed a thicker texture that’s raised the scar tissue above the level of my skin. The reason for the damage to the scar tissue was due to being so physically active several weeks after the surgery when my Mom became ill and subsequently passed away. All the getting in and out of cars and planes, trips to the hospital, and multiple changes of clothing was all necessary for what was happening at the time but didn’t create the best case scenario for healing. Now that it’s nearing summer and I’m living in short sleeves and tank tops, the scars are hard not to notice but during a recent follow-up with my plastic surgeon he assured me even with these scars given a few more months of healing they’d take on a much more blended appearance to match the rest of my skin. The only thing that probably won’t change on its own is the width of the scar tissue but I’d rather live with that than have corrective surgery to repair it.
So the question is, after all the surgeries, pain, expense, disruption to my regular life, and the lasting scars, was it all worth it? I’ll answer that honestly.
The mid-back lift and tummy tuck, absolutely yes, they were completely worth it. The first week after surgery following the tummy tuck I experienced an incredible amount of pain related to the muscle tightening but I had pain medication for it and by the second week the pain was completely manageable. The time it took to really start feeling normal again took about four to five weeks but then it took a few more weeks beyond that to get back into my regular routine. And the results are fairly amazing. Before the surgery I had spent all of my adult life with an apron of fat and skin that sagged low over my abdomen and rested on the upper portion of my legs when I was sitting. My back and bum were loose and droopy from all the excess skin. The mid-back lift completely smoothed the surface of my back torso and exposed the natural lines and curves of the female anatomy. My stomach wins the award for “most improved.” My abdomen is completely flat and my belly button has been relocated to front and center.
The breast lift and the arm reduction is another unquestionable yes. I was totally surprised in the days following surgery as to how little pain or even discomfort was involved with either of these and the most discomfort I experienced with my arms came about a month after surgery when the skin around the scar tissue was itching and burning like crazy as a reaction to the natural healing process. There have been sporadic and temporarily painful hot spots on the incisions around my breasts as they’ve healed. The results from both of these procedures are better than I had expected. My arms now have a normal amount of sag for a woman my age and my breasts have less sag than normal for a woman my age. No complaints all the way around.
Had I truly known how painful and complicated the thigh reduction was going to be, I honestly don’t know if I could have gone through with it. It really was miserable in every possible way, beyond what I can and would describe here. At the same time I’m not sure if knowing every little ugly detail would have prevented me from going ahead because my inner thighs have always the thing I liked least/hated most about my body. I didn’t feel comfortable wearing shorts because most shorts weren’t long enough to cover them completely and bathing suits were out of the question! My thighs were so wide that to buy pants wide enough to fit over them meant wearing pants that hung loosely on my waist. And the issues I had with my thighs were far more than about vanity. The added weight put an extra load on my body and forced me to have a wider than normal gait for my size frame and the skin was more often than not irritated and sore from the friction of rubbing against the skin on the other leg. Not pretty. Not fun.
So yes, I’m thrilled and relieved I had the inner thigh work. My gait is natural. i can walk and ride a bike easily. My thighs are in proportion to my waist when buying pants. No rubbing and no chafing. But even so I’d be hesitant to encourage anyone else to have the procedure for themselves unless they were bound and determined. If you are, write me. Let’s talk.
So there you have it.
Posted in Reconstructive Surgery 4 Comments »
March 23, 2010
After watching a particularly disturbing episode of “Hoarders” the other day D and I attacked our garage and uncovered jeans and a tee shirt from my big girl days. In fact it’s the very same jeans and tee shirt I’m wearing in a photo here. As you can see when you lose half your body weight you only need half your pants! I remember only too well when I wore these jeans because at the time they were the last of the jeans I had I could fit into and even that’s not exactly true. I could get in them, but I couldn’t get them zipped up and so I’d fold both sides of the zipper inside my pants and then wear a tee shirt long enough to cover up the fact that I was walking around without my pants zipped. This leads to the second photo. Follow me down the post, will you?
While I can’t say this tee shirt was tight at my biggest weight, I can’t say it was loose either. You be the judge. Anyway, the jeans were size 28 (I wore 30-32 comfortably), and the gray moo-moo tee shirt was a 3XL. Okay, that’s all the show and tell for today so keep scrolling down past my knobby knees.
It’s good for me to remember the old days and the old clothes because I absolutely believe that what the poet George Santayana said is true: “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” And so on a regular basis I remember the misery of my past which allows me not only to be all the more grateful for today but to do what I can to treasure and keep it.
So let me catch you up on what’s been going on since I haven’t been posting much. You’ll notice there’s not been any posts recently from my kitchen exploits because the deluge of Christmas baking basically wore me out and was also adding a few too many calories to my life. As a result there’s been very little culinary glamor to be found around here with our meals revolving around grilled chicken and fish, fresh veggies and fruit, and the more than occasional liquid protein supplement. With outdoor grill season just around the corner though you can be sure you’ll be treated to photos of yet more nearly-burned to a crisp fennel, fowl, and fin. We like to say around here that we don’t like burnt food but blackened food which makes it sound more like a style of grilling than an accident from multi-tasking one too many tasks while the food is on the grill.
And as to exercise to put it simply, I’ve been a maniac! After months of little to zip physical activity due to surgeries and recovery time, I’m focused on getting my muscle mass and girlie guns back to where they were before I turned into a non-green version of Gumby. Recently my fitness schedule has included strength training three times a week with a personal trainer and a whole lot of spinning! I’ve been averaging 4-5 spin classes a week and have found it’s the most effective and efficient way for me to burn the most calories in the least amount of time; anywhere from 500-700 for a 45 minutes class according to my heart rate monitor. Speaking of which, if you tap on the image below a larger version will open up showing the data from my Garmin Fitness watch and heart monitor for the past month, showing that since March 1 I’ve exercised a total of just over 21 hours for a total calorie burn of more than 12,000 calories. Those 21 hours include: strength training, spin class, road cycling, and the dreaded StairMonster. I take the elevator up to the gym so I can get on a step machine and climb nowhere. Don’t even try to make sense of that.
I’d love to tell you all this physical exercise and moderate eating has me at my goal weight but if I told you that I’d be lying through my little crowned teeth. My weight continued to sloooowly climb through January and February to 168 pounds despite my best efforts and an excessive amount of frustration and head-banging. And then….finally….my weight plateaued and since then it’s been letting go an ounce or two at a time and this morning the flashing digits on the bathroom scales read 166.6. I know. 666. The Omen. Scary. But actually this time it’s a good sign in that my body is finally getting back in shape and letting go of the weight. My weight gain over the past few months really has been the great mystery to everyone from my doctors to my trainer to me and the theories have abounded. My personal trainer thinks it was due to the loss of muscle mass from months of inactivity. Doctors suggested everything from a hormone imbalance to the physical trauma my body experienced from the surgeries to it simply being a matter of my age working against me. The last one was suggested by someone so young he looked like Beaver Cleaver with a stethoscope. But then again at my age, all the doctors are starting to look like Doogie Howser M.D.
Even our cats had a theory as to my weight gain that involved me sneaking their bags of kitty treats on the sly. As tempting as Kibbles Tuna and Liver Medley sounds…
So I think this has you all caught up on more than you cared to know about me but don’t think for a minute that’s going to stop me from telling you more! I’ll follow up in the next few days with a final update on where I am in terms of recovery from the reconstructive surgeries (Oh could it be she’ll include photos of her scars? Only time will tell!) and then I intend to start posting on general stuff related to health, weight loss, and nutrition that I’ve collected from my own experiences along the way.
Later Gators!
Posted in Body Image, Fitness and Exercise, Weight Loss 4 Comments »
March 23, 2010
174 days until we leave for Italy but really, who’s counting? Me. There are few things that can make me grin wider than my daily pilgrimage to the wall calendar where I use a wide point Sharpee to make another big sloppy X through that day’s date and with each X there’s one less day that stands between me and my first lemon gelato on Italian terra firma. Be still my heart.
Since last I blogged back on January 7 I’ve continued to plan and obsess for our month in Italy. At the top of the list has been taking a semester of Italian at the Berkeley annex for the The School of Italian Language and Culture. I now know just enough Italian to at least be able to embarrass myself in two languages instead of just one. I had originally intended to continue on with the second and third semesters but I wasn’t able to arrange my schedule to accommodate the Monday evening classes with any regularity so it’s back to Rosetta Stone on my laptop for me. For the most part I think I can manage the pronunciation reasonably well but as to verb conjugations, dream on. When ordering for D and I, I sense there’s going to be a whole lot of bilingual pointing going on; pointing to D and then to the menu, pointing to me and then to the menu. Hey, as long as I can get Fagioli all’uccelletto on my plate in Tuscany and Spaghetti alIa carbonara in my bowl in Rome, I’ll use whatever means are possible, be it gestures or grammar.
I’ve also begun booking us one guided day tour in each of our three locations (Rome, Tuscany, the Amalfi Coast). While D and I are most excited about seeing Italy on our own, going where we want to go and going at our own pace, we also want to experience a few of the major sites with people who know their stuff. In each location Untours provides a special event for all their clients who are located in the same area at the same time. Rome includes a private guided tour of St. Peter’s Basilica and Sistine Chapel; in Tuscany we gather for lunch and a guided tour of a local abbey and while the event for the Amalfi Coast is still to be determined (Amalfi is a new region for them), I’m hoping Limoncello is included prominently in the plans.
The bookings I’ve made for D and I in Rome include two outings with Context Travel. On our first full day in Rome we’re going on their three hour walking tour, Savoring Rome, A Culinary Stroll that will give us not only the chance to get a taste of Rome but help us get a lay of the land for our days on our own. A couple days later will go on a four hour guided tour of the Roman Forum, Palatine Hill and the Colosseum on Roma Antica. Our apartment is a five minute walk from the center of ancient Rome and so I’m sure we’ll find ourselves back at the forum on another day as well as to Maritime Prison where the Apostle Paul was imprisoned while in Rome.
Our days on the Amalfi Coast will be spent strolling through the coastal villages (we’ll access them via the coastal bus line) and hiking the trails between Atrani and Ravello and over near Positano, but we’ve already arraigned a private tour of Pompeii with Gaetano Manfredi, a guide that comes highly recommended by Rick Steves. A private driver will take us to Pompeii where we’ll meet up with Gaetano for a two-three hour tour. Then it’s back with our driver for some touring and a slice of pizza in Naples before driving to Mount Vesuvius for a bit of a climb.
The other location where we want to arrange a guided tour is in Florence but right now those plans are a bit up in the air and so I’ll post what we’re doing when everything is finalized. Suffice it to say, whichever way we go in Florence the focus will be food, fun, and fotos!
Okay. That updates you on my progress with Italian and our guided tour plans. I could go on but it will wait for another post. For now I have another X to mark off on the calendar!
Posted in Italy, Travel No Comments »
February 5, 2010
Back in December I blogged about how I was struggling to get my weight where I wanted it to be and despite a month of primarily being back on the liquid fast I’m here to report that my weight barely budged. While I’m assuming/hoping/praying this will begin to change now that I’m back at the gym and looking forward to the approaching cycling and hiking weather, for the time being I’m finding it a real challenge to balance my weight at any particular number.
As a recap, the lowest weight I reached following surgery was somewhere around 150 pounds and because I hit it once I’ve been feeling like that’s the weight I should be at to be “successful,” but even with a minimal caloric intake, drinking plenty of water, increasing my activity, yadda yadda yadda, the bathroom scales refuse to decrease in number. Unless I have a little extra to eat at a meal or add an extra snack and then those old bathrooms scales don’t hesitate to flash me an upward turn.
So the other day I was again engaged in obsessive thoughts about all this when I remembered that when I began the fast in January 2009 I never entertained the thought of getting to 150 and wearing size 8 jeans. No. The goal I set for myself at the time was to one day weight between 160-165 pounds, to reach a BMI of between 25-27, and I would have been elated to imagine myself in size 12 clothing. Well, guess what? Here are the facts as they stand today. My weight has, for the past few months, been consistently hovering between 158-162, my BMI without exercise has been just above 27, and I’m comfortably wearing size 10-12 jeans (though the one pair of size 8 jeans I bought at 150 still fit though breathing is optional). It took a number of years but finally I reached my goal and now that I’m there…it seems it’s not good enough.
Which leads to the question, do we ever get to a place in our lives where we’re genuinely content with how we look? Can we ever just relax into our bodies, look in the mirror, and say, “Looking good today Sweetheart” and actually mean it? I know I want that and I’m working toward that end but not all that surprisingly sometimes the hardest work we do is between our two ears rather than between the two sides rails of a treadmill. Without going all Oprah, it just seems it would be a whole lot more beneficial and productive to be cheerleaders for ourselves rather than a panel of multiple sneering, cynical Simon Cowles.
And so the work continues….
Posted in Maintaining Weight, Weight Loss 4 Comments »
February 4, 2010
I’ve been chomping at the bits to get back into my regular exercise routine but between recovering from my surgeries and then having everything put on hold due to a suspected hernia it’s been more than six months of being limited to walking and pouting. The first burns calories, the second does not.
After two recent CAT scans, a hernia was finally ruled out in favor of a weakened patch of stomach muscles just above my right hip bone. This may or may not be related to increased strain on that area due to having my stomach muscles tightened in another area but that’s all neither here or there. The end result is that I am now the proud owner of a plum size bulge four inches to the left of my belly button and just as many down that while visually not the look I was going for, at least doesn’t require any surgery or restrictions on my activity level.
So after all this time I’m back to three 50 minutes sessions a week at the gym with my own little version of Jillian (just as gorgeous and nearly as cruel) which feels both achingly sore and wonderful at the same time. During personal training we primarily focus on (re) strengthening my core through work with weights, pilates, and balance work on the Bosu. There’s circuit work on the gym equipment and a whole lot of plain calisthenics including planks, lunges, and groan, squats.
With my personal training back up and rolling I’m now trying to put together a regular cardio routine at home and in the gym to get my heart pumping and up the sweat factor for a solid calorie burn. My goal is to get back to doing an hour or more of cardio 4-5 times a week. Once spring arrives I’ll return to cycling, walking, and hiking but until then I’m getting involved in some of the classes offered at the gym and to that end I’ve been trying out a few. The first up was the currently popular Zumba which proved to be a total exercise in humiliation for the simple reason it requires something I don’t possess, that being rhythm. After 20 minutes of stumbling over my feet I screamed “Uncle!” and ran from the room. I’ve also tried a few classes of Camp 24 that combines step, weights and cardio and for the most part I enjoyed it with the exception of the jumping jacks which I can’t do if there’s so much as a teaspoon of fluid in my bladder but then again neither can I walk and sneeze at the same time. You probably didn’t want to know that, did you?
Aaaaaanyway, over the past few years I’ve noticed how there’s a whole lot of people waiting in line at the counter to sign up and reserve their spot for the next spin class. As a kid who grew up in a house with a stationary bike that was always covered in my dad’s pants, teeshirts, and other assorted laundry, I’ve never been too intrigued by the whole idea of hunkering down onto a bike seat, spinning like crazy, and going nowhere. Whether it was the flashbacks to my childhood or the whole human hamster wheel thing, who can say. I only know I’ve never been all that interested in giving it a try. That was until I noticed the sweat factor. I couldn’t help but notice that at the end of their spinning session all the little human hamsters were dripping in sweat and nothing says calorie burn like a whole lot of sweat. Well, as it turns out I LOVE spin class. To be completely accurate I didn’t love it the second and third time when my derrière felt like it had been polished with coarse grain sandpaper but now that my backside has warmed up to the idea I’m loving it.
And loving it is important. Sure. There are times you just go to the gym or head out on a walk or run because it’s the thing you know you need to do rather than the thing you want to do, but the chances of being able to keep motivated to do it day in and day out is made easier a world easier if it’s something you enjoy and that provides you with a sense of satisfaction. Here are a couple things I’ve cranked up the fun-0-meter around physical activity.
- I love taking digital photos and so when I’m hiking I’ve always got my camera with me.
- The only time I allow myself to listen to my favorite podcasts (Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me, and Splendid Table) are when I’m out walking.
- I bought a couple favorite workout tops and pants that are reserved just for the gym.
- I’ve measured the mileage for a variety of routes that all begin and end at our front door so that I never walk or ride my bike on the same route two days in a row, and most of the loops have a Starbucks at mid-point so I have a rest break to look forward to just down the road.
- I set attainable goals for myself (walking to a particular destination a little farther than the day before, walking at a steeper incline on the treadmill than I did the last time, estimating a specific time it will take me to go a particular distance that requires I push myself a little to achieve it) because every time I meet my goal I gain a sense of satisfaction that makes me feel good.
- When I spend time on my Wii FitPlus I intentionally think of it as play instead of exercise and focus on the enjoyment factor rather than about getting my exercise in that day.
- I keep a few inexpensive workout DVD’s (The Biggest Loser has some awesome ones!) and a couple pieces of equipment (exercise bands, a step, and a fitness ball) on hand at home so I have a variety of choices of ways to be physical whether for an hour or for a 15-minute fitness break.
And that leads me to always remembering that doing something is better than doing nothing. Five minutes of walking is better than zero minutes. Walk to the end of your block and back. Every time you need to get something upstairs at home go up and down the stairs two times first. Park as far from the entrance to the store entrance as you can. Walk in place every time a TV commercial comes on. Pace back and forth whenever you talk on the phone. Set a goal of going on a walking exploration of every city park in your local area.
Begin just by being mindful of the 3 S’s.
Sit. Stand. Step.
Standing burns more calories than sitting. Stepping burns more calories than standing.
Studies have shown that one of the differences between obese people and thin people is that thin people are more physically active. That doesn’t necessarily mean they exercise more, it simply means they move more during the course of an average day. They stand more and step more and that overall increased activity level ends up burning more calories than a sedentary day spent sitting all day long.
That is of course unless you’re sitting on a stationary bike.
Posted in Fitness and Exercise 6 Comments »
January 7, 2010
So how are those New Year’s Resolutions working out for you? If you’re still keeping them with a full week of 2010 under your belt then a tip of my hat in your direction. If I wore hats that is which I don’t because I look silly and slightly deranged in them. For myself, I gave up making New Year’s Resolutions as a New Year’s Resolution a few years ago and that’s about the only one I’ve managed to keep.
I spent a whole lot of years in churches that would traditionally hold a New Years Eve service that included a time when everyone would write out what they wanted to see God do in the coming year (a religious version of New Year’s Resolutions) and then we’d seal our note in a self-addressed envelope that the church secretary would drop in the mail to us six months later so we could see how God had answered our prayers and how we had followed through on the commitments we’d made to Him.
By the time I was in young adulthood the arrival of that envelope, addressed to myself in my own handwriting, was like a slap across the face, a literary reminder that once again I hadn’t done what I had been so earnest about doing six months earlier. Once again I was reminded that I’d failed to make any headway on the first item on every single New Year’s Resolution list I ever written during my lifetime. The wording was different from year to year but the intent was always the same.
- I want to lose weight.
- This year I will lost 50 pounds.
- By next year at this time I will have lost 100 pounds.
- I commit to losing weight in the coming year.
- I promise that with God’s help I will get my weight and my eating under control.
One year I’d had enough of making New Year’s Resolutions that I knew I could never keep and so while everyone else was in church writing out their resolutions and commitments for the coming year, I was scratching out another kind of message to myself. Six months later when it arrived I tore open the envelope and read,
So, it’s now six months later and I bet anything you weigh more today than you did on New Year’s Eve, don’t you? When are you ever going to just accept that you’re always going to be fat? You’re such a failure.
No small amount of self-loathing in that little note to self. Ya think?
But it wasn’t just once a year I’d failed to live up to the word I made to myself. Every Monday was going to be the start of a new diet and this time I was going to stick with it, and sometimes I did stick with it. At least until Tuesday afternoon. Every night after I’d eaten Chinese take-out for four or a deluxe double-thick pizza with extra cheese and a half gallon of ice cream as a chaser and I was stuffed sick I’d swear to myself I was never going to eat like that again, and just to prove how serious I was I’d storm (or waddle as it were) into the kitchen and throw any food that remained (if any did) into the garbage can. But by the next day, after a small breakfast or no breakfast at all, and eating little more than a salad and a Diet Coke for lunch, I’d head to the fast food district of town and fill up the back seat of my car: a six pack of tacos from Taco Bell, two orders of onion rings from BurgerKing, and a half dozen Dilly Bars from Dairy Queen. Then I’d go home, eat it all, and feeling stuffed sick with self-loathing and food once again I’d swear I’d never eat like that again. But I would. Again and again and again. All the way to 325 pounds.
I haven’t lost 170 pounds because one year I made a New Years Resolution to myself to lose 170 pounds. There wasn’t a single ginormous last supper that made me so violently sick in body and spirit that I swore that was the last time and then I followed through from that moment on. My weight loss journey didn’t start on a Monday or on the 1st of the month or the 1st day of a new year. It began on a Saturday. May 8, 1999. I didn’t wake up that morning knowing I would always remember that date. I didn’t know that between then and the beginning of 2010 I would never again gorge on a fast-food progressive dinner, never order Chinese take-out for four for a party of one, or never lose myself in a half-gallon of ice cream or a two pound bowl of pasta and butter. When I backed my car out of the driveway that morning I didn’t know I would never be that heavy again. I didn’t know the next time I’d buy a car I wouldn’t have to have the driver’s seat soldered in place to keep my weight from breaking the steel joints. I didn’t know the time was coming when I’d stop waking up in the middle of night gasping for breath or fearing the pains that occasionally ripped through my chest. I didn’t know in a few short months I’d be wearing pants that zipped all the way up rather than being held in place with jumbo diaper pins and prayer. And I sure couldn’t have imagined that in a few years from that day I’d be wearing size 10 jeans and medium size shirts, walking a half-marathon, hiking through the Redwoods, or hearing my doctor say, “Anita, you are in more than excellent health.”
May 8, 1999 was the day that led to where I am today but I didn’t know it at the time. I just knew I was going to go to a morning meeting of *Overeaters Anonymous that happened to be held in the back room of my favorite Mexican restaurant in town. I figured I’d sit and listen to a bunch of fat people talk about the diet they were on and whine about how much they missed eating ice cream and cake and cookies, and then at the end of the meeting I’d slip into the main room of the restaurant and order my usual double cheese enchilada plate with a side of chips and guacamole to go. Instead I went to the meeting and listened to thin and heavy people talk about having spent their lives eating like I thought only I ate and that they were grateful that for today they no longer had to eat like that. And at the end of the meeting, rather than leaving with the smell of a greasy plate of Mexican food covered in foil on the passenger seat beside me, I left with hope that at least for that day, I stood a chance of going to bed without being stuffed sick and ashamed. And I did.
That was the beginning for me. And there’s a beginning for you too. You just might know when the journey begins. But then again, maybe your journey already has started and you don’t even know it has or can’t believe it has.
—
*Overeater’s Anonymous is part of my story but it might be part of yours. Instead it may be Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig or private therapy or a plan of eating that you find in a magazine that works best for you.
Posted in Body Image, Weight Loss No Comments »
January 7, 2010
Okay, everyone from Samantha Brown to every experienced traveler has commented on the lack of public toilet in Florence and that even when there are toilets to be found they’re more along the lines of the two footprints and a hole.
My big adventure with the footprint commode was in a little village on the ascent into Jerusalem. When I asked an elderly woman for directions to the public toilets she pointed in the direction of an old church which for whatever reason gave me a sense of assurance that the accommodations would be all that bad. As it turned out, I entered a gigantic old church that had for at least the last two centuries been without a roof and when I entered the small cubbie space where the footprint toilet was located, I found the roof was missing there too. Now, this doesn’t seem all that bad. After all, who cares if a few birds passing overhead take a second spin over the airspace above you to get a second look? But the situation was a little more….complicated than that since the street running next to the church was built on a slope and so anyone passing along the street could look in and see you and you could see them. And sure enough, just as I was taking in the situation in mortified wonder, a mother and her three boys walked by. Suffice it to say I was the first one off the bus and running when we arrived at our Jerusalem hotel.
Now why am I mentioning this, aside from my complete lack of personal boundaries, that is? Because with our trip to Italy more than eight months away, I have already ordered and received one of the most essential travel aids we will be packing. How much do you love a feminine urination system that’s called Go Girl, and who’s motto is “Don’t Take Life Sitting Down.”
Why have I not read this suggested on any of the packing lists I’ve been reading for traveling to Italy over at SlowTravel? What’s up with that?
I’m ready for Florence, the isolated back roads of Tuscany, and for that matter hiking trails around our own Northern California.
Aside from this whole foray into the land of TMI (too much information), today I booked a three night stay in Florence for D and I at il Bargello Bed and Breakfast in Florence. I heard about il Bargello from an interview on the “How to Tour Italy” podcast and it sounded wonderful. The location is right near many of the places we want to visit such as the Duomo and the Uffizi Gallery and within walking distance of about everything else, though that seems to be generally true anywhere you stay in Florence.
Anyway, we’re sandwiching our visit to Florence into the middle of our two week stay in Montalcino, taking the train from nearby Buonconvento to Florence on a Tuesday morning and returning to Montalcino via the same means on Friday morning. I’ve been advised not to drive to Florence by those who’ve been there and had to contend with driving into the city and finding parking and being a smart little cookie I’m heeding the advise of those with more experience.
Now if they’d just take my advise on the Go Girls because….I have experience.
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January 4, 2010
I was so excited about beginning my Italian class this evening that last night before bed I gathered up the class textbook along with a notebook and a pen and put them at the top of the stairs so I wouldn’t forget to grab them on my way to the Berkeley campus. I’ve been as excited as a first-grader on their first day of school minus the apple for teacher, though a loaf of Panettone for the Professor did pass across my mind. Anyway, this morning as we were drinking our coffee in bed I mentioned to D how excited I was about my class and she said, “You really must be excited considering that it doesn’t even start until next Monday!”
Oh well. In the meantime I’ll continue to amuse myself with my iPhone apps, videos, and podcasts on Bella Italia!
General Travel Apps:
- Convert: Converts a wide range of units including: currency, distances, weights, volume, and temperature.
- Wi-Fi Finder: Finds free and pay for use Wi-Fi within whatever radius you set to your location.
- Packing Pro: Create a thorough packing list, by category for your trip. I’ll be using mine to create not only my packing list but a “maybe” category from the suggestions on items to take I gather over the coming months, and then will pare it all down as we get closer to our departure date.
- PS Mobile: A nice little on the spot photo editing program for snapping quick photos on the iPhone camera. Primarily handy for adjusting exposure and contrast before whisking off a photo from Italy to Facebook when I get within range of free Wi-Fi.
- iRecord: Make brief recordings of the sound of a Roman cafe, the morning sounds outside our Tuscan farmhouse apartment, or the music in a nightspot in Positano.
- Air Sharing: I’ll be scanning and uploading photos and travel documents here as backup including the front pages of our passports, photos of our suitcases and their contents (in the event of loss or theft), flight information, rental car reservations, contact information in Italy, emergency numbers, predetermined routes and maps for day trips in Tuscany, list of medications…
- Flight Status: Check to view the most recent update on our departure flight status
Italy Apps:
- ArounderTouch: This is my daydream app that allows you to view major cities around the world (in this case in Rome) in 360 degree photography. Allows me the chance to stand in the Roman Forum and do a complete circle before I’m even there.
- iSpeak Italian: Primary use will be for search for a specific word in Italian or it’s audio pronunciation. It’s ability to translate phrases and sentences correctly is weak at best.
- Italian Pro: Contains easily combined phrases with audio pronunciation for common travel situations.
- Vatican Museum Tour: Pretty sweet app with audio and photo to guide you through the Vatican.
- Rick Steve’s AncientRome Tour: Provide an interactive audio and visual guide through the historical section of Rome. Basic info as per Rick Steves in that it’s a good resource in terms of basic information and navigation.
- Italy Papers: A daily update on the front papers of most of the main newspapers throughout Italy. Using it as a tool to becoming familiar with recognizing Italian words.
Podcasts:
How to Tour Italy: I LOVE this series. High quality recordings, helpful information, and just fun to listen to in preparation for going to Italy.- The History of Rome: A terrific series on the history of Rome. Great background information before seeing the land and ancient remnants that remain from Rome’s early life.
- Italy Travel Notes: There are only a few podcasts in the series and most aren’t related to places we’ll be going within Italy but enjoyable to listen to while on my morning walks all the same.
- Rick Steve’s Audio Walks: A series of audio walking tours with photos and maps in PDF format for touring some of the major sites in Italy.
Videos and Movies:
- Samantha Brown Passport to Europe- Episodes on Rome, Florence, and the Amalfi Coast: Even though she goes excessively glitz in her hotel accommodations I enjoy her conversations with the people, especially the paper maker in Positano who I intend to search for when I’m there
- Under the Tuscan Sun: Watching this movie is required by law before entering Italy…multiple times.
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January 2, 2010
With our departure date for Italy 6080 hours away and our airline tickets and apartment rentals already booked, it would seem there wouldn’t be all that much more to do to get ready for another….oh…..4175 hours, but if you’re thinking that, then you don’t know me. D does which is why she’s already accepted that for the next 6080 hours my full-time job will be I-T-A-L-Y.
Even our Christmas was a slice of Italy. I bought her Italian wine books and she bought me Italian cook books, and we spent Christmas Day watching the Rick Steve’s DVD’s on Italy’s Country Side I bought her while I played with the anti-theft backpacks I bought for both of us.
And over the past month I’ve scoured the internet to find one-day cooking classes in Italy, corresponded with a private guide in Italy via email about a private tour to Pompeii, scored great restaurant reviews from other travelers on Slow Travel, and bookmarked tour companies that lead biking day tours in Tuscany and day hikes on the Amalfi Coast. I’ve downloaded dozens of podcasts on my iPhone including Traveling to Italy, The History of Rome, How to Tour Italy, and Rick Steve’s Italy Audio Tours and have a half dozen new travel apps loaded and tested. I’ve checked out luggage at the local travel shop, looked over walking shoes, checked out clothing at Travel Smith, purchased city and region maps and the Eyewitness Travel Books for Tuscany, Amalfi, Italy, and the Amalfi Coast, and a new camera. I’m through the first four lessons of Rosetta Stone Italian and begin taking Italian classes next week at the Berkeley extension of The Italingua Institute of San Francisco.
And now on the center of our main living room wall is our Tuscany wall calendar and map of Italy so that I can cross out each of the 253 days that remain until our departure and chart our itinerary on the map; black pins mark our three apartments, red pins are the cities and villages we most want to visit, and white pins mark all those places we hope we can get to if only distance and time will allow.
This might all seem over the top and maybe it is for normal people but I recognize and accept that when it comes to making plans I lean away from normal and toward obsessive. For this Type A girl the more I plan the more I relax, the more details I work out on our itinerary the more freedom there is to be spontaneous in the moment, and the more I research and learn and shop and plan for Italy, the more fun I have because anticipating a trip is nearly as fun as going on the trip. The operative word being nearly. And of course, while I make all these plans I do so knowing that when it comes to traveling or life in general, everything can change and the best plans can go out the window at the last moment. The airline goes on strike. The flight is delayed. One of us gets sick. We both get sick. A loved one dies. The place we intended to go see on a Tuesday is closed until Friday. The private guide is a no-show. The restaurant with all the rave reviews ends up being mediocre. The apartment toilets overflow. Traveling, like life in general, has unplanned interruptions and surprises which is why all the time I’m planning I remember everything can change. It’s also why ten minutes after I booked the airline tickets and put the deposit down on the apartment rentals, I bought travel insurance. Just in case. I only hope hope hope we don’t have to use it.
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January 1, 2010
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In my 20′s an 30′s I went to Israel a number of times (including one long, glorious summer) and along the way to and from managed to piggyback a few days in other countries like Jordan, England, Sweden, Denmark, Greece, and Italy. I only had four days in Italy and all of them were spent in Rome, with my clearest memory being in the Sistine Chapel, laying on my back on the cold marble floor taking a photograph directly under God’s fingers and Adam’s hand. I went back one more time years later when traveling with my sister and parents and the memory I have from then is of my sister and I sitting on our beds in the hotel dividing up the last of the Skittles we’d packed from home. That’s about all I remember because we were literally in and out of the country in less than 24 hours. Flight in. Flight out. Barely enough time to say ciao!
Ever since then I’ve wanted to go back to spend some real time there; to walk the streets, to go to the countryside, to meet the people, to experience Italy, and I’ve always wanted to travel with D, to show her places I’ve been and to have new adventures in new places with her. Two summers ago we had the chance to go with a small group of people from our church to Greece and while the entire trip was amazing, the best days were the ones spent before the official tour began and after it ended when D and I were the only people we knew in the entire country and had time alone to explore it for ourselves. Ever since then we’ve dreamed about traveling alone together and after storing away enough frequent flier miles we decided to begin a new decade with an extended visit to Italy.
And so at the beginning of December I booked our airline reservations for Italy with British Airways. First class. Our frequent flier miles covered it all except for a small chunk of chump change they attached for taxes, fees, and surcharges and as it now stands we’ll be flying into Rome mid-September 2010 and leaving from Naples one month later. 30 days in Italy. She, me, and we. One week in Rome, two weeks at a vineyard farmhouse in Tuscany, and a final week on the Amalfi Coast. La vita dolce indeed!
Better yet, we’ll be slooooooow traveling on our own so that rather than traveling with a tour group, sleeping in hotels in tourist areas, rushing through museums fast enough to qualify for the Olympic time trials, and seeing the people of Italy through double-thick bus windows we’ll be staying in private apartments in established neighborhoods, shopping for groceries at open markets, and following a travel itinerary that will provide as much time for lingering over espresso at corner cafes and sitting on the edge of a fountain eating gelato as it will for taking in all the grand sites of this historically rich country.
Traveling this way is easier than you might think because there are incredibly resources out there. D and I are using a company called Untours that came highly recommended to us by friends who’ve traveled with them for years and not only do we love the services they offer but they totally won me over with their long-standing commitment to direct the majority of their profits toward social investing.
Untours describe what they do as “providing independent travel with support” which means they handle all the pesky little arrangements that had me wondering in the past if traveling alone was more trouble than it was worth. Among the details Untours covers is that they:
- arrange for our accommodations by personally inspecting all the apartments on site before adding them to their list of available rentals, which we then selected from using their detailed descriptions and photographs
- provide us with independent transportation from rental cars and/or public transportation passes depending on the area
- arrange for a local representative to pick us up at the airport, deliver us to our apartment, acquaint us with the local area and then at the end of our stay return us to the airport for our departure for home….even if means dragging us from our apartment and Italy against our will!
- pre-stock several days worth of groceries at each destination to hold us until we become familiarized with the area
- provide a local contact person to answer our questions while in country and assist in the event of an emergency
- supply advance assistance and travel information as we prepare for our travel to Italy
And with those travel details out of the way, our time is our own, and if all that isn’t sweet enough I somehow managed to stumble into the Slow Travel community. What an incredible resource and what amazing people! There are folks from around the world participating in their forums that are dedicated to slow travel and the pool of knowledge they have between them is incredible. So far most of my time has been spent devouring trip reports from members who’ve been to Italy, going over archives of material that provide travel tips and advice, and of course, pouring over every entry in the section devoted to Italy.
Awesome. Just awesome.
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